8 Self-Love Practices that Changed My Life

Me and Frank Stella at the Whitney

Me and Frank Stella at the Whitney

Long before I met my husband and created a family, I was engaged in a deep spiritual inquiry that had me releasing the untruths that were keeping me locked in a cycle of self-hate and I aligned with the spiritual truths of my divine true nature that supported my living a life of joy, peace, and love.

How did I do this? Well, it took years to be honest. I received many months of spiritual counsel, cried many tears that represented the falling away of those beliefs that didn’t serve me and practiced acts of self-love that made me feel good, that helped me to foster a relationship with myself that became my new normal. The days of negative self-talk became mindfully put to rest as I began to download ways of living and caring for myself that exalted who I am as a divine being.

Herewith, I share with you 8 self-love practices that changed my life:

Prayer. When I first heard the practitioners at my spiritual home of Agape pray their affirmative prayer, I felt I was swept up into a powerful swirl of light and love and I can recall thinking “I want to pray like that!”. Then I began to work with the Hereditary Chiefs of the Nuxalk Nation from British Columbia to help them save their old growth forests and home. These men prayed before everything they did and I thought “I want to live and pray like that!” So over time I received many many prayers that supported me in releasing what wasn’t true that I had fallen into agreement with. This allowed me to vibrationally resonate with the spiritual truth of my being and then live from that. Completely transformational! What I learned is that whatever I speak with feeling is my prayer, so why not consciously pray on things that uplift my soul and energize the world I am seeking to create? A prayer can be as simple as an “I” statement affirmation that affirms the spiritual truth: “I am Love” or it can be a much longer spiritual mind treatment that creates powerful healing within the neural pathways of your brain and therefore changes your lived reality.

Buying myself fresh flowers. What once seemed a great extravagance became a weekly ritual for me. Why? Because I LOVE flowers and decided that I would have them in my home weekly to enhance and beautify my modest little Venice home. Beauty is very important to me and bringing fresh flowers into my home, sometimes scented, like lilies and sometimes not, just made me feel good! Of course now my husband knows this about me and he brings me fresh flowers weekly when he sees they are beginning to wilt.

Hydrotherapy. While I was studying to become an Agape practitioner in 2000 and 2001, there was a lot of reading about God happening and I would draw myself a nice hot bubble bath and read for about an hour. This time of solitude would feed me tremendously, cost nothing and supported my spiritual walk of self-love and self-acceptance so gorgeously. To this day I lock myself away in the bathroom from all my men, throw in some epsom salts and bubbles and languor in the water for as long as I want. I also take myself to my local Korean spa here in Los Angeles almost monthly now and enjoy hours of away time in the baths and lay reading on the heated Jade floor. Bliss!

Meditation. While I am not a daily meditator I do sit when I am called to sit to quiet my mind and open to the nothingness that comes with allowing myself to become conscious of the breath and let the mind become still. I also enjoy yoga nidra meditation at night to send myself off to sleep.

Taking myself to the beach. The beach is my happy place here in Los Angeles. At the beach I can look out at the waves and tap into the vastness of the Pacific Ocean and feel the smallness of anything that may be bothering me or creating any kind of stress in my life. It puts it all in perspective. I love the sea and will sometimes see dolphins and even whales!

Art Dates. Before having children I painted with oils. Before that I painted with acrylics, practiced collage and various other crafting and art forms, a true child of the 70s! Recently I went to the Whitney Museum in New York City and felt like a kid in a candy shop. My soul was filled with the whimsy of Alexander Caulder’s Circus, Georgia O’Keefe and I was particularly taken with the Whitney’s collection of Frank Stella. It was heaven! My current commitment to my artist self is to manifest an office outside of my home that I can also paint in. Ah creating once again! I can’t wait.

Taking myself to the movies. I love the cinema! For many years as a teen I thought I would be a Hollywood actress, reading all the wonderful biographies of so many female greats: Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall, Ingrid Bergman and others. I acted in high school, in my twenties in Vancouver, and worked for several years in the field upon arriving to Los Angeles. Taking myself to the movies without feeling the need to go with anyone felt like a great act of self-love when I was single. It made me happy and supported me in feeling like I didn’t need a date to have fun!

Dancing.I love to dance and love nothing more than to absolutely lose myself in music while dancing. From dancing in my living room as girl in front of the “mirror” of our large living room to discos in the 80s to Grateful Dead concerts in the 90s to ecstatic dance events here in California to dance parties in my living room with my boys, dancing takes me into the moment and allows my spirit to soar like nothing else. I danced with my babies in my arms when they were small and we turn Pandora on in our living room now and have dance parties all the time.
I even follow a woman on Periscope now who does dance parties! This is very necessary for a woman who sits coaching and writing most of the day!

No matter how you celebrate this weekend, may it be infused with heaps of self-love!

Big love,
Stephanie

3 Comments

  • Steven says:

    I find myself doing these things for myself.. my creativity is creating music and I love flowers 2.. I may not buy them for myself. I feel self love is vital in any age of this earth. I’m grateful to be connected to those who share the teachings of self love. My favorite teachings on love are the bhakti sutras. I will post something now in social media about that 🙂

  • Jen Kamel says:

    Love your list! It’s so important to nourish ourselves. My self-care routine includes exercise, quiet time, the beach, hiking with friends, nature (just being outside), pedicures/massages, and connecting with people who get me, like you! <3

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